This post is out of character for my typical light-hearted family-based posts, but Mary's blog got me thinking.
I am definitely an opinionated person, and those of you who know me are sitting there nodding and "umm-hmm"ing that point. I have strong opinions and I am typically very vocal about those opinions around those I am comfortable around. So here is the question.
Does being opinionated automatically make me judgemental?
I say no! I am of the nature that it is okay and normal to "agree to disagree." I love intellectual discourse with someone who has thought about issues and can defend their positions. It makes me think, and sometimes even changes my mind on issues. The problem is that most people jump to the defense when questioned or faced with an opposing or even mildly different view. Then everyone just gets mad and I get called all kinds of names for having a strong opinion. (Now, I admit that I am a drama queen and my tone in writing or reading is sometimes over dramatic about some hot-button topics, but I really mean no harm.)
The way I think about it is that I can disagree with you on a major issue (religion, politics, homosexuality, abortion, teaching, parenting, education, etc.) without tying my feelings about you into that disagreement. Just because we feel differently about something doesn't change how I feel about you as a person. I can literally go from a heated conversation over racism to laughing and planning a girls night out with the same person. My point being that I have my personal opinions but I don't judge those who have different opinions from me. I do question them to see if I can understand a view that I don't understand (which I have changed my views on all the issues above in my adult years), but I don't judge who they are as people.
Okay, so I have beat that dead horse. You can probably tell that I had a problem with this arise this week. At my new job I am the odd ball teacher. I have a very different teaching style and philosophy than the other math teachers. Without getting into the details, it is hard being different and the new teacher. Anyway, I feel better now.
Bottom Line: Thank God we are all different and can share our differing preferences, decisions, and views. We can learn so much from one another!
4 comments:
Preach it, Sister! Though, I believe that I am both opinionated and judgemental. It's something I need to work on...
I have always been silent in groups as I felt that my opinion on subjects would bring their wrath. In times when I was teaching or leading a discussion group I would challenge people with my understanding of the reading or message. It has been difficult. In work the idea that that you may be an expert on a subject (one who knows more that the other person) may challenge people in to thinking that you are judgemental. I have counter this usually by being forth righ in showing the information I have made my assumption on to the person and let them decide. As the only Specification Writer at work it is hard to have a engineer or architect say to you that the information must be presented in a certain way. I know that the information is incomplete or express in a way that will allow the Contractor to interrupt the item in his favor. You walk a fine line with the knowledge and how to express it best and when to time the battles.
Good luck with that.
P
I would so much prefer being around a person who has an opinion rather than one who has none. It is evidence of being able to think on your own and feel confident in what you believe without having to only accept the thoughts and ideas others. It is the thing that great people are made of. The challenge of great thinkers is not in what they believe, but in how they express it. Most of the time, because those who are hearing the information are intimidated by the thinker. Don't let your thoughts and beliefs be quashed by those who can't or don't want to understand. You are smart enough to know when to be sensitive and when to be bold. Just be yourself. When you begin to doubt that you are where you are supposed to be, remember how you got there. God moved His hand to bring you where you are today, physically and spiritually. Trust His plan and have confidence in your gift of discernment. I love you.
Mom
This is a little off topic, but I love your blog baby. Your depictions of our family life are so vibrant...it shows how...present, is the only word that I think describes it, you are. Thank you so much for that.
Back on topic, sadly ou know I am one of those who can not have a "debate" with people. I think I know why I feel what I feel about certain things and why, but am not always smart enough to relay that information coherently. Sadly, I get impatient (mainly with myself) and lose my cool, which of course only causes me to make less sense. You are a very educated person, and you have valid points that always deserve to be heard, when others get upset about it they are probably just like me, more upset with themselves than you...maybe not /shrug.
Love you, keep up the good work!
Me
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